#So many words

[falklore]

I’m gonna need 3-5 business weeks to form an opinion on this album

[paynomindtotheinsanity]

Chapter 19: Spaces Between

[bigalockwood]

Apparently I’ve uploaded exactly 268.000 words to AO3. Sorry to report there’s more coming your way 💜

[nanomooselet]

Little but Fierce VI

She winds up… there's the pitch…

Poor Nick. It never stops being funny. I'd feel sorrier that this happened to him but he's such a bastard in his introductory episode. It's like karma in advance.

Heheh. Kar-ma.

Meryl and Wolfwood behave very much like siblings to each other, while Vash and Roberto treat them like their awful terrible kids. Roberto does actually try reach out to Vash as a mentor once or twice, but of course Vash is fuck-off old and doesn't need that kind of assistance, so he's gently deflected. Roberto is old and wise enough to keep his distance. Nick, for his part, enjoys pissing Roberto off, and Roberto is for his part duly pissed off.

Still, Vash is the reason they're all even there in the first place and Meryl shows him concern. And Vash, in his way, fusses over Nick the way Roberto feels responsible for Meryl. A lot of what Vash does, he's doing pretty much solely for Wolfwood's benefit. I mean, look at this pathetic wet kitten of a man - you can't tell me he doesn't need it.

I've already talked at some length about why exactly Vash is like he is about Wolfwood, but what's he like about Meryl?

Pretty much exactly as fond. He's just quieter about it. To my read, he's confident she and Roberto can look after themselves and each other. That's really endearing to him, but not something he has to do anything about. And Meryl's not suffering the same kind of identity crisis as the Punisher/Wolfwood/Nico. Meryl knows exactly who she is, she's just trying to get everyone else to acknowledge it, and Vash does so from the first - she's never anything but "Meryl" to him, not "newbie" or "little lady". She never has to demand that of him.

Nor is she in directly a victim of his godawful brother, which thankfully means she isn't his responsibility to help - or at least, no more so than any given human. Also, it's Vash. What's that? Someone is invested in his well-being? Golly, that sounds suspiciously like he's being cared for (which of course he doesn't deserve), or (more reasonably) like someone vulnerable to being caught up in Knives's manipulations. Or just someone vulnerable to Knives period. Stampede out!

I though you guys were buddies./I thought you three had something special. 

No way./Yeah, not really.

Too bad for him, he's met his match in Meryl Stryfe.

In direct contrast to every other character around Vash, she's only one there not because she has to be, or because she needs or wants something from him, but because she decided to be. She's one of the only characters with agency, after all.

Real people aren't monsters like that./He's a man, not a monster.

But I won't give up, no matter how unreasonable the assignment!/I won't abandon an assignment just because it's silly.

We can't just leave him hanging here./No way. We can't just leave him here.

And she's also decided he needs help. So come hell or high water, this man is getting helped.

It's her knack for finding the truth without quite knowing the reasoning behind it. In physical terms Vash really, really doesn't need help, and it's the mistake Knives always makes; that because Vash ostensibly doesn't have powers like him, he's in need of a defender. (And because this is Knives, that means it's up to him personally, and he's entitled to Vash and his exclusive love/loyalty/devotion in return. Any protests Vash makes are clearly just human corruption.) But what Vash actually needs is something his brother has never, in any version of the story, demonstrated the capacity to give him. Even sensitive little boy Knives back in Maximum relied on others for reassurance up until the moment he decided he couldn't.

Vash is more inclined to be someone others rely on, to the point of being maladaptive. It's being unable to help that gets to him, especially when he's held responsible.

What he needs is emotional support. Or, well... faith.

Wolfwood gives that to him eventually, but it takes some serious work, and it comes with its own attendant difficulties, like the fact that Nick's not in a position to extend Vash help himself no matter how much he might want to. Nick is, like Rosa and like Vash, a pragmatist. Do what you have to do.

Meryl has never needed that kind of direct demonstration. To her, Vash is a person, and people always need help, and she's not going to be prevented giving it. End of discussion. And despite being mistaken on some particulars, on this point she's more right than even she knows.

The contrast with Wolfwood is incidentally why Meryl hitting Woofwoof with the truck isn't just fucking funny, it's the perfect way for him to be introduced. He can't catch the same bus as Vash by happenstance because this time Vash is his actual target. He can't have Angelina II because personal transport is autonomy he's not permitted to have.

Instead, Meryl's own autonomy and narrative significance had her run the plot right into him, completely ruining whatever plans were laid for his entrance. Notice Roberto tries to steer Meryl away from the collision course they're on, to no avail, and Vash winds up flipped over. Fantastic.

Wolfwood is getting dragged around; Meryl is the one doing the dragging. When she discovers Vash's secrets, she works to accept them and integrate them into her worldview - which means that the moment she learns he's a Plant, she doesn't reject him or become fearful of him. She instantly accepts that must mean the Plants are also people. That gives her a fuller understanding of the conflict, and especially Vash's view of it, than most. It's not a matter of "Whose side are you on?" It's "How do we move forward together?"

Wolfwood's knowledge has all been filtered through the Eye of Michael, so he's more aware of the details, but can't disentangle his true beliefs from the ideology driving them.

Meryl has a better understanding of the abstract. And that, in turn, entitles her to learn what the available methods are, and judge them...

...But it also entitles her to something more precious: Vash's unquestioning trust.

It's certainly much less dramatic than the demonstrations between Vash and Nick, but I have to say: any amount of exposure to Knives and his histrionics would leave me, at least, pretty relieved to have it.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

Part V

Part VII

Part VIII

Part IX

[bellaxgiornata]

I just finished the rough draft for chapter 3 of A Favor from the Devil today!! Almost 5k words in one day!

Brain tired now. I need break.

[arialerendeair]

NaNoWriMo 2023 Recap

NaNo has officially ended, and with 260,235 words under my belt for the month (NaNo graphs under the cut), a new 'written in one day' record of 36,473 words, time to make a list of the stuff that was written and checked off!

Here is the list of things (including links for those of you who might have missed some of the updates)!

DONE - Colour Forecasting (with @blueberrymffn!)

PROGRESS - Old Town Road (AKA The "Hob is a Horse Girl" Fic) (Based on @amielot’s art!!)

DONE - Rewrite the Stars - the Figure Skating AU

PROGRESS - Becoming Hope of the Endless

DONE - Well-Matched

DONE - Broken Glass, the very belated birthday present for @pellaaearien

Random Fishbowl Rescue Fic #57

Art of Seduction Series Next Fic

Art of Seduction Series Next Next Fic

DONE - Big Bang Fic for The Centennial Husbands Big Bang

PROGRESS - The Golden Trio Fic

DONE - Sequel for Braided Longing (Marriage Braids) 

DONE - Sequel for Dreams Make Living Worthwhile (Solstice Chapter)

DONE - Sequel for The Sonnet-Off (What was in the necklace Case?) 

DONE - Sequel for Dream of Dragons (Dream figuring out what Hob’s hoard is)

DONE - Sequel for A Dream Model (Hob showing up marked up LOTS for modeling) 

Sequel for The War for The Dreaming (BABY DREAMLING)

Sequel for The Age Difference Fic Opera Sequel (Dreamstuff fucking in public)

DONE - Sequel for A Family Stands Tall (Night & Time kidnap Hob)

NEW AND DONE - Dethroned - BAMF Hob fun

NEW AND DONE - A Blundered Beginning - Sequel to right where you left me by @seiya-starsniper

NEW AND DONE - What's a Bit of Death Between Friends? - More BAMF Hob fun

NEW AND DONE - Call of the Wild - Wolfy Hob fic inspired by @gabessquishytum

That's a wild amount of words, lol - so enjoy the fic updates everyone!

NaNo Stats below!

Total Words Written in November 2023 (1k less than my all-time record of 261k that I got last year)!

The line graph of how my month went!! (November 30th broke the graph a bit, but the rest of the month was consistent!)

Last but not least, my new single-day written record, which smashed my old one by more than 5k!

Whew!

What a wild month, y'all.

[finemeal]

@haunting-heroes-creative-games are in the voting stage of our Demon Twins Who Wrote That game hosted by the lovely @thewritingowl and @tourettesdog. A lot of us chose titles from Crane Wives songs, and I come bearing TWO playlists you can listen to.

YouTube and Spotify And if you wanna read the 43 fics we wrote from a total of 30 authors, there is a collection here on ao3 with them all. Hope you enjoy! I know I did <3

[nothing-behindher-eyes]

I ahve so many things to say about how mike faist is the finest, most beautiful, sexiest, kindest, purest soul on the planet and I'll DIE on this hill

he will be the death of me

[nottoofondofgaypeople]

You should make a long post about Laurance

You are so lucky I got that Vylad ask before this... Ohhh boy

Full stop, this post is probably going to be one of the longest things I post on this Nether forsaken website. Laurance has been a comfort character since I first watched this series years ago in spite of all the bull shit Jesson put him through. I have many many many thoughts on him, and none of them will be organized.

I'm fairly confident that this post will get into some very unhinged territories, I cannot be normal about this man

I feel like this should go without saying, but all of the headcanons I have dumped onto Laurance on my main blog apply to this rewrite. Including this one which you have definitely all seen, and all Shadow Knight headcanons are also canon here.

But let's talk about this rewrite specifically. Because when Laurance comes back from the Nether, and he confesses his love, the mother fucker does it! He actually gets Irena to say she at least feels something towards him! It isn't much, but she doesn't get all awkward when he says that he loves her, and she's supremely gentle with him while helping him with his recovery. This really quickly turns into romance and the two are effectively dating shortly after.

Yeah Laurance's eyes aren't magically fucking cured to perfection, that's stupid an abelist.

Actually, because I want peak recovery arc material out of this rewrite Laurance is going to get to spend a lot of time learning how to fight with this new form. His body has been pretty significantly altered from the process of undeath and also the torture. I'm so for real when I say Laurance has so many scars, just so many of them, 18 million scars all over his everything. He already had some from being a stupid fucking child, but these ones are a lot uhm... bigger.

Laurance has to adjust to the new symptoms of his body. A lot of them are slow, appearing over time. The first major thing Laurance notices is that when he stops thinking of breathing for long enough, he just stops breathing. Shadow Knights don't need to breathe, so their body doesn't naturally do it. But Laurance never fully died, so he kind of does need to breathe?? And this is just where it starts.

I think the doll symptoms start kicking in a lot slower than I initially thought of. There's still the first time that it happens, but then it doesn't happen as often. Maybe once or twice, but the next time Laurance really deals with that is during the Season 1 finale (but it isn't Garroth that knocks him out (but that's a whole post unto itself)). Going into Season 2 though, it gets worse and worse. As the Shadow King has more influence over the Overworld, the calling gets stronger and stronger.

More often than not the calling manifests as a whisper in the back of Laurance's mind, something that sends a tingle down his spine and not in a good way. His blood runs hot, and he can feel his body pulled to Irena. Like his blood is tied to her life force and constantly trying to bring her to it. And any time he's around her, that voice gets louder, starts multiplying as he fights it, all of them demanding him to kill, to do it, to free himself of the burden, to gain eternal life.

Laurance doesn't want eternal life though!! He never has!! He wants to fall in love and start a family and grow old with his partners!!

Okay so going into Laurance's childhood a bit, I've said it before and I'll say it again, Laurance is the mcd equivalent of a theater kid and yet somehow fumbled in choosing his class and ended up as a fighter instead of a bard, the goof. He picked up the Lyre when he was a teenager, mostly because his father bought one and expressed an interest in teaching Laurance how to play, and he was all over that.

He stops playing it when he goes to the guard academy cause they just don't have instruments there (which is a crime), but he does still spend a lot of time remembering songs and finger placements, mans is doing whatever he can to make sure he doesn't fall out of practice. When Laurance comes back to Meteli as an official guard he celebrates by having a party in the town and finally getting to play his beloved lyre again.

He doesn't play it as much when he's a guard, but he always tries to stay in practice. And he won't let any blindness get in the way either, his muscle memory is so on point he barely needs his eyes unless he's reading sheet music, which is usually right in front of him.

I could seriously go into a whole character analysis of comparing Laurance to Orpheus, specifically from Hadestown, like I really want to, but I'll restrain myself to just the general myth of Orpheus and Eurydice. Laurance really thought he could walk into hell and defy the gods. He really thought he could just do that. And even when he was faced with punishment, when Orpheus was forced to stay in the Underworld in her place, he endured it all for her. And actually this is so funky the roles are kind of reversed. Because Irena is the one who can't turn around to look at Laurance when they're running out of hell. If she does, she will die. That is guaranteed. Eurydice has always acted in the assurance of her survival. Unlike Orpheus in the same position, she can manage to not turn her head.

Hhhhhhg Laarmau as Orpheus and Eurydice is literally everything to me you don't understand.

And yes Laurance being Orpheus coded is why I gave him a Lyre, I won't even deny that. Like, c'mon, Laurance very earnestly trying to earn Irena's affection and saying "I also play the lyre" and Irena snarking back "A liar and a player too? I've met too many men like you." I'm--

Stay focused!! This is not the Hadestown post!!

What if Laurance was like obscenely physically affectionate? Like he's so so so physical, he loves having a point of contact with someone at all times. It doesn't have to be anything big either. He just likes wrapping his arm around Garroth's shoulder, or having Irena play with his hair. It was something important before the Shadow Knight transformation, and he only needed it more as time went on. The feeling of his lovers heartbeat reminds him he's alive.

And other people touching him reminds Laurance he still has this body. In spite of all the Shadow Kings control, he has control of his own body in this moment and he is using that control to show love and care and that matters to him more than anything. He likes holding hands, putting his hands on people, having other people do the same, even the smallest amount of affection is enough for him to selfishly crave more.

Laury likes singing a lot. His voice got a little deeper after the Shadow Knight thing because his vocal chords got just a little shredded in the Nether, but he still loves singing and singing with his friends and lovers. Laurance singing some sappy love song to Garroth who is just completely smitten, or singing some silly little campfire song to boost Cadenza's mood when she's having a bad day.

THE TABLE BIT!! I simply adore the table bit!! All of it! And it's even better in my rewrite cause even if the dialogue and the scene plays out almost exactly the same, they're in love while doing this silly bit!! Such fucking dorks I want to throw them against concrete.

Thinking about Laurance and Ungrith. Laurance finding this wyvern in the forest while exploring one day and befriending it almost instantly because Laurance is just a very kind person. Even if Ungrith isn't allowed to be with his brethren, it's okay because this weird fuckin kid is really entertaining and a genuinely great friend. I know it isn't possible but a scene where Laurance, Garroth, and their wyvern childhood friends get to hang out and talk would probably fix all my problems.

Raven doesn't literally anyone but Garroth touch him, but when Irena tells him about Ungrith, he's willing to let Laurance pet his scales or whatever you do to show affection to a flying lizard. It's not the same, but it's better than nothing.

Laurance's favorite place to kiss other people is on the cheeks, but his favorite spot to be kissed is the forehead. I think that he doesn't admit this to people, rather lets them figure it out. Both Garroth and Irena figure out Laurance likes kissing their cheeks a lot, like he does it constantly, especially because Garroth has freckles and Laurance is determined to kiss every single one of them.

Garroth is the one who learns about Laurance's affinity for forehead kisses cause he's only like two inches taller than Laurance, but that difference matters a lot to both of them. And Garroth can tell very easily from the way Laurance always loves looking up at him with those big doe eyes. Once he tells Irena this, she starts asking Laurance to bend over or kneel in front of her so she can kiss his forehead very tenderly.

Because I made Garrancemau polycule real in my rewrite, Laurance's calling latched onto Irena, but man oh man, it tempts him with Garroth sometimes. He fights so hard to protect Irena partially because if she dies by someone else's hands, he knows it'll latch onto Garroth. And sometimes the calling urges him towards it anyway, considering it'll work. A calling is best answered by the death of a lord, but the death of another guard isn't always a bad thing.

Every time Laurance runs from his lovers to fight the calling he feels so cold without them. Like if he bothers to try sleeping while on his own it just feels so cold. So empty. It doesn't feel right to try to sleep without Irena in his arms and Garroth snuggled up behind him and a blanket over the three of them.

I think Laurance cries a lot. He doesn't really have hang ups about showing his emotional side until he's a shadow knight, and even after, he only tries to hide his anger. He never hides his anguish, his sadness, his absolute misery as a result of the nightmare he was forced to live through. Laurance's crying is so loud, so wretched, almost agonizing for him. It forces his entire body to shake and tremble, sobs being wrung out of him almost forcefully.

I want. him. to be okay. and happy. and I know he won't be. Aughfhhg.

[audiodramayearbook]

Let's Talk Categories- Writers

Best made up word(s) even the writer can’t pronounce correctly (aka the Yes, But is It A Conlang Award) 

Writer most likely to be lovingly bullied by their actors & fans. 

Writing this show is cheaper than therapy 

Most likely to have detailed notes for expansive worldbuilding & backstory that doesn't appear on screen (aka the There's More Lore Than Script Award) 

What do you mean it’s not punny? (aka the Highest Form of Humor Award) 

Enemies-to-Lovers arc but it's you and this show's writer.

Nominations open January 1, 2024 on our website

[cleflink]

[jakeperalta]

downloading the starbucks app specifically so I don't have to attempt to order the iced brown sugar oat shaken espresso out loud

[lacrimosathedark]

As an acespec person who is likely some kind of arospec too, Alastor ships give me mixed feelings.

Like, I'm extremely uncomfortable with people really sexualizing Alastor, especially in art. It feels...gross. At the same time, I see people staunchly against people shipping Alastor in any way that's not platonic, which...makes me frustrated.

Look, he is canonically ace, but 1. asexuality has levels, 2. Alastor has no idea what ace means, and 3. words are stupid.

I had no idea I was nonbinary or ace as a kid. I knew how I felt, but I thought it was within the range of "normal". I thought I was "just a person" and "a romantic". I thought I was "picky", and that's why everyone was having crushes while I was chill by myself or with friends. I thought maybe I was scared at the idea of being that vulnerable with someone as someone with anxiety, trust issues, and who grew up falling asleep to Law and Order SVU. And I'm a Zillenial.

Alastor is from a whole other century, in a much more repressive society. If I today needed the internet to figure out that my experience is abnormal and there's a word for it, back when the internet wasn't a thing and queer circles were trying to hide from sight, how the fuck is he gonna know? Especially when he loathes seemingly anything that's past his time, which the concept isn't but the term is as is the way he might find out about it. Fuck, we know he doesn't know what ace means.

He also has no reason to seek out an answer. I wasn't looking when I found my answers. I stumbled upon people who shared experiences who had words that clicked with me. Hell, it'd be easier to think it's normal with how much "waiting until marriage" has been historically pushed. He doesn't know there's even something to look for.

In all likelihood, he thought the "right person" might come along someday, but he also had other priorities and didn't care if he found them or not. Why would I go searching for a love I may never find when I can spend my time focusing on my career, dancing with friends, and plotting various murders? That sounds like a lot more fun and a more effective use of time, wouldn't you agree?

And look, in general "finding the right person" isn't a "cure" for asexuality anyway. Except it can look like that on the surface if someone is anything other than 100% sex-repulsed asexual. And (allos writing aces don't seem to know this) sex-repulsion can also be very spectrum-y too, and actively fluctuate.

I'm demisexual, and would actually consider myself sex-repulsed. I have never liked viewing sexual images or videos, it makes me borderline nauseous. I absolutely will not read pure smut. The concept of engaging in sexual activity myself makes me cringe. To me, sex generally brings to mind too much physical contact and gross bodily fluids. I'm disgusted by even getting other peoples' sweat on me. I'm okay listening to friends talk about their interactions only to a limited extent--I need to be able to have distance and not be given extreme detail.

But if I think about someone I actually like, or if I'm reading a story that has had a buildup in the relationship, it's...nice. It's a very different experience. It seems less like too much touch and gross bodily fluids and more like intimacy. It's...I'd almost call it pleasant? It's hard to describe, but it's a complete shift in mindset depending on circumstances. Most of my inherent reflexive disgust just goes away.

There's a chance Alastor could be like that. He is, quite clearly, some kind of sex-repulsed (thank you Angel Dust) but that doesn't completely block him out of sexual interest. But Angel is...excessive about that side of his personality. And that could be part of why the repulsion seems so strong with him. There are levels of tolerance. I can watch Hazbin Hotel and Angel Dust, but I can't comfortably watch Helluva Boss because the first episode Stolas is...very explicit. It's just too uncomfortable for me to sit through. (this also isn't a judgement of whether it's a good show or not, it's just not for me)

And even if Alastor doesn't experience attraction, he could still have sexual engagement with someone for other reasons. I don't think we have solid confirmation that he's aro, but even then that is again a spectrum and Alastor has no inkling on the concept.

He could involve himself in sex because he has romantic feelings for someone and that outweighs his disgust. Or perhaps even intense platonic feelings, disconnecting the act of sex from romance entirely. QPPs can do anything they want and honestly I feel like those labels are super blurry anyways, because what denotes an action as romantic or sexual or platonic besides intent and perception? Like, friends can cuddle, happy lovers can sleep in separate beds, people joke about kissing the homies good night. Words are messy and nothing matters.

He could also use it as a manipulation tactic. Because if there's one thing we know about Alastor, it's that he's a manipulative little shit. And while the reward would need to be extremely high, I could see Alastor using someone's attraction to him against them in that way. Why would he not use every tool at his disposal?

And from personal experience, a lot of writing in the fandom is through the lens of Alastor being non-sex-repulsed asexual, or otherwise demi- or greysexual. And while I could definitely use more fluidity in the sex-repulsion category (cuz unfortunately a lot of people write it as either completely repulsed or not repulsed whatsoever), at least a good number of people are trying to be respectful. Just because they ship Alastor with someone doesn't mean they are being disrespectful or casting aside his orientation by default.

And while Alastor being enthusiastic about it is extremely ooc and I hate that with my very soul, people are allowed to play with fictional characters how they want to. They aren't real. Neither are the Barbies whose faces you smashed together as a kid. They aren't actively hurting real people, and don't necessarily think differently of real ace people.

I'm aware that I may be projecting my sexuality onto Alastor given that he has shown sex-repulsion that I relate to. Maybe I think the idea of him being romantically involved with someone is cute. Maybe I don't mind the idea of him doing sexual things for love or other personal gain like power or control. But who the fuck am I hurting by doing that? Who is anyone hurting by doing that?

And dude, you're watching a show about redeeming sinners, showing that some of the worst people can change and puritanical people are irrationally judgemental asshats. Someone portraying an ace character as not 100% sex-repulsed is a weird line to draw there.

If you're a 100% sex repulsed asexual who's uncomfortable with people shipping Alastor, that's perfectly fine. But not every asexual completely shares your experience, and life itself is uncomfortable. And for better or worse that isn't going to change. I suggest you simply avoid engaging as much as you can for your own peace of mind if nothing else. Blocking tags and accounts is actually great for that. Someone doesn't have to be a dick for you to block them, and you won't have to see their content anymore. Tumblr Savior is a helpful tool too.

This is my very longwinded way of saying just because Alastor is aroace doesn't mean he can't be in a romantic-coded relationship, a qpp that isn't specifically stated to be such, or engage in sexual acts. And writing him ooc is icky but also completely fine and people can do what they want.

[this-acuteneurosis]

First of all: Loved the latest chapter. Plo is trying to make sense of Leia’s reaction and I’m so here for protective Padmé!

I wanted to ask about Shmi’s chip though, since Luke told Leia in Blood of our father that Shmi had been buried with hers. Did she just not admit to Anakin that she still had it?

Ah, I believe you have discovered an infamous continuity error, which sometimes occurs when an author does not reread their own fic enough times.

Let's go with: this is a difference in the timelines.

Yeah, that'll work.

[textless]

Back in November, a million years ago, I caught a mouse in my office. 

I saw a tiny movement out of the corner of my eye, and when I went looking, I found the mouse hiding under the phone, in the little tent shape formed by its plastic stand.

I’m not especially fast or coordinated, but somehow I scooped the little guy into a plastic recycling container..

This has been a big year for mice here, and I have lived in places with terrible mouse problems in the past (New Mexico at the height of hantavirus, 100-year-old apartment buildings in the 90s).  So, I have been responsible for the relocation of plenty of mice out of this mortal coil.  I feel okay about it, and will certainly do it again when the need arises. 

But this particular mouse, a cute and lively individual that was already trapped in a bucket, had earned a trip to an actual new home.  I loaded the recycling bin into the passenger side of my car and drove it a little distance, then tried to get the mouse to go free.  It was eating a piece of dried gum and did not wish to leave the bin, but once its feet touched the ground, it took off like a shot.

I like to think the mouse is happily living off the land, but it’s more likely to be cursing me for the lack of human food, or making its way back in to the complex.  On the bright side, it doesn’t live in my office anymore.

Phone pictures.  Cochise County, Arizona, November 2022.

[thereigningqueen]

I’m out with friends, nowhere fancy, just a local bar with good vibes. I notice you straight away. Holding court at the pool table. An easy grin on your face as you sink another shot. You have an aura around you. From your deep dark eyes to the soles of your boots. I can tell I want to be near you. My body hums just taking you in.

We’ve settled in and drinks are flowing. After a while they call my name and I take to the tiny stage. I love to sing. With a mic in my hand I can take on the world. I know every word and for a brief few minutes all eyes are on me. There’s an instrumental and I take in some air and check out the room.

It’s then I see you’ve stopped your game and are instead leaning against the table, one foot crossed in front of the other. The cue previously in your hand temporarily replaced with a drink as you size me up and down. I know what you’re thinking.

You’re looking at my boots. My skirt. Eyes definitely in my cleavage. You cock your head to the side as you take in my stockings and wonder what kind of girl wears stockings to a place like this. If you play your cards right you just might find out.

The song continues and I finish the last chorus with your eyes on me. I hold your gaze to the very last note and you nod at me and smirk at the lyrics. The typical polite applause rings out across the bar as they queue up the next song. I look across to my table to see my friends engrossed in conversation. Evidently they weren’t watching me sing. My smile drops a little and I falter coming down the wooden stairs.

I feel your warmth before I see you and hear a voice in my ear that makes me tingle all over. One hand on the small of my back to guide me safely down the stairs as the other appears in front of mine, open, ready for me to take.

‘They missed a good show’, you say. I can feel the blush spreading across my cheeks as I turn to face you. I’m captivated by your eyes. So deep and dark and soulful. I know I could get lost in them for hours.

I take your hand and immediately feel tingles all over. You chuckle and I realise with your hand on my back you must have felt it in your fingertips.

Mortified I try to pull my hand back and turn away from you but you pull me closer. I shake my head and stammer ‘I’m sorry. I just haven’t had….it’s been a while since…I don’t usually….never mind.’

‘How bout we move somewhere a little less public and you try that again honey. I’m happy to give the folks a show but I’d prefer it be something more entertaining. Plus I don’t want anyone else to see that blush.’

My jaw hits the floor as you lead me to an empty table in a quiet corner. I’ve never done this before but I know I want to. I came here with friends but right now I can’t think of anyone else but you. I’m scared I’ll say the wrong thing or embarrass myself with you but at this moment there’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Scared or not, being the object of your gaze, your hands on my skin is all I want.

**I started writing this a week ago and it was supposed to be shorter but I got carried away and now it’s looking too long.

Should I finish it or?